Thursday, October 11, 2007

On Retreads and Other Matters

Allan Houston and Penny Hardaway are attempting comebacks with the Knicks and Magic, respectively. Why? No really, why? They each made tens of millions during their NBA careers, though both were incredibly overpaid (Houston because the Knicks are stupid, Hardaway because his body continually broke down). They both still have incredibly frail, often-operated-on knees, and cannot hang with today’s NBA athletes. Penny is 36, and last played in 2005-06, appearing in just 4 games, and averaging a robust 2.5 pts in those contests. Houston is also 36, and last played in 2004-05, scoring 11.8 pts/gm in 26 min/gm, and pulling down a pillow-soft 1.2 rebs/gm. During his spectacularly one-dimentional NBA career, Houston never once averaged 4 rebs/gm, despite being 6’ 6”, a great jumper, and garnering well over 30 min/night. He also finished his career with a mere 139 blocks in 839 games. For comparisons sake, Dwyane Wade, at 3 inches shorter and in only 264 career games, already has almost 100 more blocks than Houston, 236. Michael Jordan, also 6’ 6”, once had 131 blocks in a season. And Penny, while far more well-rounded than Houston, always showed the heart of The Tin Man, even in his prime. Come on guys, get on with your lives, no wants to see you back on the court. The good news is, neither is a very good bet to make the final roster.

This brings us to the 3rd retread, back from the grave, just when you thought all sports relics from the 80’s were gone….Vinny Testaverde is back!!! The extremely desperate Carolina Panthers have signed the 43 year old fossil after Jake Delhomme went down for the season and David Carr injured his back. Come on, isn’t there another option out there? Some NFL Europe veteran, an Arena League all-star? What defense would ever respect the deep ball with Vinny at the helm? How long would it take for his ball to reach the sideline on an out pattern? DB’s would be frothing at the mouth if he had to take snaps. Is the Panthers’ last year former Heisman winner Chris Weinke really so bad that a 43 year old is better? I was a high school senior when Vinny won the Heisman in 1986…this last summer, I just went to my 20th yr reunion!!

Other Quick Thoughts:

USC is in trouble, the aura of invincibility over. Look at the trend….lots of close games in 2006, then losses to unheralded Oregon St. and UCLA, a wakeup call this year vs. Washington, but they never woke up and lost the next week infamously to Stanford. The demarcation comes after Reggie/Leinart/Lendale left. The attitude and intensity just isn’t the same, and now dissent is slowly creeping in. I hate to say it, but the fun seems done. Hopefully they can at least be just another solid, top 10 program, and don’t fall much further than that.

Yankees are done after one round of the playoffs…again. Dump Torre, and don’t listen to the vets who are so loyal to him. It’s time for a change and Torre has no more fire in him - he’s fat and happy. A-Rod, nice of you to finally get an RBI in the playoffs…too bad it was way too late and way too little. Don’t get me wrong, as a big fan of statistics, I’m a big fan of A-Rod’s. 54 HR’s, 156 RBI, .314 BA, and 143 Runs this year make a season for the ages, but unclutch is unclutch, and A-Rod tightens up BIG TIME when the heat is on. 1 RBI in 4 games this postseason, dropped to 8th in the order in last year’s playoffs…it’s really rather sad.

Saw recently that former Laker Aaron McKie recently retired. Didn’t he retire after the 2004-05 season? Oh, wait, that’s right…it’s only that everyone who knew anything about basketball thought McKie was going to retire after that incredibly unproductive campaign (16 min./gm, 2.2 pts, 1.5 asst). But not Mitch Kupchak, no siree…Mitch saw something in McKie – a solid guy, over-the-hill, often-injured veteran who was just the player the Lakers needed to waste $5 million on for two years. During those two seasons combined, McKie played in a total of 24 games, averaging 1.2 pts, 1.0 asst, and 1.4 reb. Mitch, you are a legend. Please write a book as a public service to people of mediocre/poor talent everywhere – ‘How to Keep Employed While Accomplishing Nothing in Your Job’. One caveat to the book – I think you’ll have to leave out any mention of drafting Javaris Crittenton in 2007. For some odd reason, he fell into the Lakers lap at pick # 19. Do this draft over in 2009, he’d go top 7. Mitch, tell the truth – was that a Jim Buss pick??